I haven't had a job since I quit CPK in March. At first, I was too busy to notice, what with getting married, going on a 3 week honeymoon, moving to Hawaii, trying to find a place to live, flying back to CA for my sister's wedding, and then getting pregnant, but it's been long enough now. I'm bored. Deeply, deeply bored. I used to be all excited about having a baby because babies are cute and challenging and I want to grow and blah blah meaningful blah. Now I mostly can't wait for him to get here because taking care of him will give me something to do. I've even been a little busy today! I went to the DMV (or, satellite city hall as this state insists on calling them) to get a license, and that obviously took forever. And I went to Target to get milk and butter and stuff. And I went for a walk. And cleaned up cat poop that was somehow of the vertical side of one of the steps on our stairs (seriously, how do they even do that? It's not like it was smeared, there was just a glob of it, hanging there). But I'm beginning to be unable to tolerate more than 30 mins of non-activity I've started watching TV standing up and pacing.
Anyway, all that was just a long, rambling introduction to get to my actual point, which I've barely started. See, because I'm so bored, I also don't like quiet at much. So I've been playing music. There's really only one choice of music in December, Christmas music. Especially since nothing else here feels particularly Christmasy (I'm wearing shorts and a tank top and had to turn up the AC because it was getting too uncomfortable in here). The thing is, Christmas music can be... difficult. I don't mean difficult to find a good station (I mostly listen to Pandora) or at least something that's not just dogs barking or Mariah Carey, but it brings up lots of memories. Mostly good ones, but it's making me homesick! I just listened to Pachabel's Canon, followed by Carol of the Bells, and immediately, I was in my parent's kitchen. Kids are running around being crazy, and they keep letting the dogs in, even though we keep telling them that they have to stay outside. I'm helping with something food related, cutting veggies, or stirring sauce, or maybe just sitting on the counter with a glass of wine (something I seriously miss being pregnant btw, last night I told Joe he needed to open a bottle and kept stealing his glass from him just so I could smell it, and, ok, occasionally take small sips, but mostly I just love the smell of wine). My toes are cold because shoes are annoying to wear inside, even when it's cold out and the floor is downright icy, but my body is hot because obviously I'm wearing a sweater (it's cold out!). I've long since given up on having my hair styled in a cute way and have pulled it back from my face into a messy ponytail, and really I couldn't care less about how I look. No one here cares either. We're all family, right? Even if we're not actually blood related. And the best thing about family is not having to be at all self conscious. I miss having my family around. I mean, sure, my sister may drive me crazy sometimes, but isn't that what sisters are supposed to do? I really didn't intend for this to come off as depressing, I'm smiling as I'm writing it, I just thought it was interesting how music can cause such intense reactions. And hey, since I have nothing else to do, I might as well blog about it, right?
Anyway, all that was just a long, rambling introduction to get to my actual point, which I've barely started. See, because I'm so bored, I also don't like quiet at much. So I've been playing music. There's really only one choice of music in December, Christmas music. Especially since nothing else here feels particularly Christmasy (I'm wearing shorts and a tank top and had to turn up the AC because it was getting too uncomfortable in here). The thing is, Christmas music can be... difficult. I don't mean difficult to find a good station (I mostly listen to Pandora) or at least something that's not just dogs barking or Mariah Carey, but it brings up lots of memories. Mostly good ones, but it's making me homesick! I just listened to Pachabel's Canon, followed by Carol of the Bells, and immediately, I was in my parent's kitchen. Kids are running around being crazy, and they keep letting the dogs in, even though we keep telling them that they have to stay outside. I'm helping with something food related, cutting veggies, or stirring sauce, or maybe just sitting on the counter with a glass of wine (something I seriously miss being pregnant btw, last night I told Joe he needed to open a bottle and kept stealing his glass from him just so I could smell it, and, ok, occasionally take small sips, but mostly I just love the smell of wine). My toes are cold because shoes are annoying to wear inside, even when it's cold out and the floor is downright icy, but my body is hot because obviously I'm wearing a sweater (it's cold out!). I've long since given up on having my hair styled in a cute way and have pulled it back from my face into a messy ponytail, and really I couldn't care less about how I look. No one here cares either. We're all family, right? Even if we're not actually blood related. And the best thing about family is not having to be at all self conscious. I miss having my family around. I mean, sure, my sister may drive me crazy sometimes, but isn't that what sisters are supposed to do? I really didn't intend for this to come off as depressing, I'm smiling as I'm writing it, I just thought it was interesting how music can cause such intense reactions. And hey, since I have nothing else to do, I might as well blog about it, right?
1 comment:
Oh, shoot, we miss you too! But we will be there with you before you know it!
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