Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Things I want

A list, in no particular order, of things that I really, really, really want.

We'll start with the most urgent one.  I want to sleep in until 7am.  That's all.  That's not asking too much, right?  It's not like I'm saying I want to get to spend a lazy day in bed where I only get up to get coffee or go pee.  Just, to sleep, glorious, glorious sleep, until 7am.  This whole 5am nonsense?  Yeah, the kid needs to knock that off immediately.  Especially on days when Joe has to go in to work early and can't take him downstairs for an hour while I try to close my eyes again.

I would also like a magic wand that I can wave over the floor and make all the ants disappear.  "Now, Susie," I can hear you saying, "they do make things that do that.  Brooms and vacuums and such."  The thing is, I sweep the kitchen floor every morning.  I have to.  Because otherwise I'd step on thousands on dead, dying, or somewhere in between ants just to get to the coffee machine.  And dammit, I need coffee. I'm not including that on the list because that's a need, not a want, and it's a need that I actually do get, so yay!  But the ants have got to go.  Have you ever lived anywhere that's infested with anything?  It's the worst.  We have spray and gel and pellets and even special chalk that we're using to try to get these damn things under control, but there's only so much you can do, especially with cats who like to do things like lick walls and eat bits of...  stuff....  off the floor.  We've asked our landlord about getting someone professional in here to take care of it, but being typical Sam, has asked that we give the ortho home defense stuff another week or so to see if it works first.  Whatever.  We need Dale's Dead Bug!

A day with a high of 75.  I'm sure a lot of people can sympathize on this one.  And I'm sure a lot of people are like "what the heck?  At least it's only 85 where you are!" To them, I say, Yes.  It is only 85.  It was 85 today, it was 85 yesterday, and it will be 85 tomorrow.  And it's also humid.  And sticky.  And OMG for once I want to feel cool air in my lungs that hasn't had all the moisture stripped out from the air conditioner that we can't even run because $300 electric bills are so not ok.  I got so spoiled in Pacific Grove with it's nice cool weather.  Lots of people complained about that, but I loved it.  And anytime I wanted it to be hot?  Easy peasy!  All I had to do was drive 20 mins north or east to get completely different weather.  It was awesome. I miss it.

You know how sometimes it's so great to be able to get into your car and drive somewhere different?  We don't get to do that.  Stupid island.  I mean sure, we can drive to the other side of the island, but that's not the same thing.  I want to actually go somewhere, not just drive in circles.

And last, but certainly not least, I want a really awesome supportive husband.  The kind of guy who tells me how much he loves me all throughout the day.  The one who texts "It's so hard to leave in the morning when Maxwell's being all cute and smiley!" and who can tell by the look on my face when he walks through that door that tonight, we are having frozen pizza for dinner and that's totally ok, and not only that, but once I finish feeding the baby he offers to go get me a nice cold beer.  Of course, I totally have this one, so yay!  End on a positive note!  Although I really wish my awesome husband and I could sleep in until 7, then get up and make coffee in our clean kitchen, to spend a lovely day driving with the cool breeze blowing to somewhere different.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Easy baby vs. crying baby

I do not have an easy baby. I was soo hoping I would, and at times, he's great.  Like whenever there's someone here to help.  The week Mom and Dad were here? Perfect happy angel! Ok, true, the first day my grandmother was here he definitely wasn't on his best behavior, but generally, he's good.  When it's just us? I should post a picture of all the scratches he's given me while completely hysterical. He now spends more than half his waking hours crying (and the other half on the verge of tears), and only naps in the morning.  I find myself looking at him, more than a little scared, like a ticking time bomb, ready to go off at any moment. We take turns walking around with him, patting his back, whispering soothing words in his ear, while the other person tries to eat or sit down or go to the bathroom.  When he's crying because he's hungry or has a dirty diaper or even just because he's not in the exact position he wants to be, it's ok.  We know there's a reason, and even if the solution is something we can't do (like hold him over our shoulder with one arm and pat his back with our other, while pacing the living room, for hours), we understand.  But when we have no idea? Or he's just tired? God, that is so frustrating!! All we want is for him to be happy, and when we can't make him happy (or at least quiet, let's be honest, when we're ready for bed we start feeling a little selfish and we just want him to Be Quiet!), it's heartbreaking!

But before you get all worried about me feeling overwhelmed or something, let me assuage your concerns! Because all that, all the crying and frustrations and lack of sleep, it's all ok.  He makes it ok everytime he looks up at me and his whole body lights up in a huge smile.  I say body, because seriously, he manages to smile with his toes. He can't talk yet, he can't even really laugh, but when he smiles like that he's so clearly saying "Mom! You are the most amazing person ever and you make me so happy! I love you!" And thats just about the best feeling ever.  Even when he's crying he's telling me how much he loves me.  Well, sometimes anyway.  Not so much when he's flipping out and is ll tense and scratching me, but when he's on my shoulder and is gripping my arm like it's the only thing he needs, I like that. It feels like even though he's upset, he's relying on me and trusts that I'll make it better.  Or right now! You'll have to forgive the typos, because I'm typing this one handed. In the other hand, all curled up and sweet, is a napping baby.  The hard moments make the good ones all the more sweeter and appreciated.

Like I said, he is not an easy baby, and I really hope my next one is easier (all this practice soothing a crying baby has to be good for something, right?), but I wouldn't change him for anything!  Even if I am awfully hungry right now, but there's no way i'm gonna disturb him to get some food...